ALL ABOUT ME.

The status quo dictates that one must abide and follow its stream regardless of its mediocre taste. I, on the other hand, won't allow my principles to conform with the norms especially if it requires me to disregard my own set of standards. I will fight back with my head up high because what I do with my life defines the very nature of who I am. My identity is priceless, it is my treasure which I could proudly pass on to whoever finds it worthy to ponder upon. Who I am is what I am, either the society accepts it or I'll beat the crap out of its absurdity.

DOMA.

I've been concerned about the Obama administration's stance on Gay Rights, in particular their brief on the DOMA - Defense of Marriage Act - case. In reading James McPherson's "Battle Cry of Freedom" - a great book on the Civil War, I came across the following about Lincoln.

    "Nor did he go as far as many other Republicans who called for the abolition of slavery in the District of Columbia and repeal of the fugitive slave law."

The real firebrand at the time in the Republican party was Seward. But it's because he was such a firebrand that he wasn't able to get elected to the Presidency.

Not too different from what we're saying about Obama today. But we don't remember Lincoln as the President who was reluctant to take action on slavery. Instead, we remember him as "The Great Emancipator".

Let's give the brother some time to get things done.

[Now I'm just rambling.]

GAY RIGHTS.

Every family has one (except mine of course).

Homosexuals should be entitled to all the same rights as straight people. We are no different than the rest of you. We simply choose to date different kinds of people. We should all be able to date whomever we want without fear of discrimination. Instead however, many homosexuals are denied the rights people take for granted. For example, in Colorado they have a constitutional amendment that forbids laws protecting homosexuals from discrimination. In other words, discriminating against homosexuals in Colorado is not only perfectly legal, but the state government is against trying to create an equal opportunity for all. Colorado is not the only discriminatory government however.

According to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, voters have repealed gay rights laws or enacted anti-gay rights measures in more than 45 communities - in the U.S. - since the 1970’s. In Normal, Illinois, the City Council rejected a proposal to add homosexuality to the city’s anti-bias ordinance. Last year, only two days after the Lansing, Michigan, City Council approved a civil rights ordinance that included protection for gays and lesbians, a group calling itself the Majority Opposed to Special Treatment gathered hundreds of petitions to rescind the law.

Whatever happened to all men are created equal? It seems to me that the people of America consider all men, exactly the same as they are, to be created equal. However, that is not the way it is. Americans are so proud of their freedom and their liberty, yet they are so anxious to take that same freedom away from someone else. Why can’t we take that statement for what it is, and start treating everyone equally regardless of his or her race, gender, and sexual preference?

AM I GAY?

When I think back of my early childhood, I can remember being fascinated with what I am. I was fascinated, in a rather special way - by a particular boy in my class. While my thoughts at that time were not particularly sexual (I was nine), I often thought about whether or not I thought this boy beautiful. I had problems settling the issue in my mind, but nevertheless, I looked at him ever so often, and I felt pleasure while doing so.

As time went on, as I entered puberty, I began to take a more active, albeit still very discrete, interest in other boys. While in the locker room after physical education, I detected that I was sexually attracted to several of the other boys, and I also saw many boys walking around the school corridors who caught my attention. Sometimes I looked them up in the school's yearbook to see what their names were, and in my free time, I often dreamt about being physically close to them.

But during this period of adolescence, I never really thought about what I was. All the things that took place in the emotional-sexual realm were, admittedly, real and concrete to me: I experienced real feelings for other boys (love, infatuation, sexual attraction). But at the same time, on an "intellectual" level, I never confronted these feelings, and so I continued having them without worrying about them or trying to transform them in any way. They just were, and that was fine with me. While some opponents of homosexuality often claim that it is "unnatural" (a claim which is thoroughly refuted in the essay "Homosexuality and the 'Unnaturalness Argument'"), for me, my homosexual feelings were very natural indeed.

Looking back at this period, my feelings for other boys were at least as strong as before, while my lack of an emotional-sexual interest in girls continued. I was very attracted to quite a few boys which I only knew from having observed them around the school, and I also experienced two strong infatuations, involving two boys in my class. Of course, as before, all of this was kept very secret. So how can it be explained that I, who really was gay, so strongly attacked homosexuality in different contexts? The explanation is, I think, psychological in nature. That is to say, I now think I was homophobic, not primarily to have people believe that I was straight (because I never thought anybody doubted that anyway), but to keep myself in check. I was "preaching" to my inner self, in a way.

During college, I gradually began to realize, on an intellectual level, what I was. Why did that take so long? I think because when one grows up and hears words like "gay" or "homosexual", one thinks of rather horrid people, who are disgusting, ugly, and immoral. I used to have a picture in my mind of two old, ugly men with mustaches (which I happen to find quite unattractive) kissing - and I found that revolting. I thought: I cannot be one of them. And yet I was, in a way. What I began to understand was that the term "homosexual" really did not denote anything but a description of towards whom a person was emotionally and sexually attracted. It did not denote anything, in itself, regarding the looks, behavior, or values of anyone. When I realized that gay people are like everyone else - some are nice, some are rude, some are beautiful, some are ugly, some are young, some are old, etc. - I had an easier time using the term for myself.

Today, I lead a rewarding life, both professionally and privately. I spend a lot of time with my steadfast circle of friends (we have dinners, go out together, talk on the phone almost daily, etc.), and even though I disagree with the French philosopher Michel Foucault on many counts, I find his view on friendship in line with my own, as it is described by Edmund White in his book The Farewell Symphony (London: Chatto & Windus, 1997, pp. 457-458): "Inspired by the ancient Greeks, whom he [Foucault] was studying, he'd developed a cult of friendship. He thought that we had nothing else to value now; the death of God had resulted in the birth of friendship. If we could no longer enjoy an afterlife earned by our good deeds, we could at least leave behind a sense of our achievement, measured aesthetically, and the most beautiful art we could practice would be the art of self-realization through friendship."

I am happy to say that I now view my homosexuality as enriching. I hope to be able to influence people towards more of tolerance and acceptance of homosexuality, and I think the best way to do that is to be yourself and be open - then, people will be able to see that gay people aren't really different, except in one little area.

*laughs.